Searchlight

Today i travelled halfway round Singapore to help thomas, my tennis coach cum tutor, in a small tennis tournament. I was to be ballkid co-ordinator and basically, a helping hand. So it was just a quadrangular round robin tournament and the inactive players and a few other people were to be the ballkids. Ive had minimal ballkid training when they were seacrching for some for the Austailian Open back in 2006. I didnt make it though but I still remember a bit. It was fun. Earned me $20 too. This $20 was used to top-up my EZlink and donated the other 10 to the drug abuse thing. Just came back actually.

Halloween is also on the way. I will find it very hard to get home now since the whole entrance is blocked off by purple glow-in-the-dark "cobwebs" bought from toys-r-us. I wonder how that ties in with me being the phantom of the opera though... haha. Other things happening are the PLTC next week and... well nothing much else. The school robbed us off 1 week of school holiday, making us come back for remedial classes and having to sit for an Amaths retest... damn.

Earlier today I was on the MRT and I saw something quite... thought-provoking. There was this reasonably young chinese family stuck in the crowded car with a pram and a baby with an older child about 3 years old. The baby in the pram was making quite a lot of noise and there were mixed reactions from the crowd. Some of the older people wanted the baby to shut up by the expression on their faces. Some purposely looked in that "tch" manner. Majority of the train tried to keep their cool. Some of the youth had that "awwwww" expression on their faces too. But that wasnt the point.

Now the family was quite a happy family and the dad was trying to keep the baby silent, giving both children a biscuit in a wrapper. the Mum was on the seat and seeing her husband trying to take care of her 2 offspring, held out her hand for the older child. This is the part. The young one probably thought that her mother wanted the biscuit but Mum just wanted her alone.


Sometimes we spend so much time searching for something to help another person feel happier, feel better. We spend so much time on it that sometimes, we forget what we are really doing. The drug guy did ask for a donation but probably, what he really needed was probably, just my attention. The donation might have been a plus. Its like we're carrying these huge searchlights, looking for something but that something, might just be what we already have, what we already can do. What some people really want, is us. Not our money. I learnt that giving, is not being generous in gifts and money, but to be generous in our heart. What we really need, is already here with us to give. So, I turn off my searchlight.

~Markyc

Unspoken Words of Joy

Halloween is coming up soon. Farhan's coming over but i still cant tell whether i should be Phantom of the Opera or Zorro. Phantom is clasier but zorro is cooler... plus Holly bought me the phantom thing already so i dont wanna dissapoint her. Then again I also have a Zorro hat... I think i'll be Phantom. "the shortest Phantom the world has ever seen" =P

I went out with Sophie yesterday. We initially wanted to watch "balls of fury" at suntec but it wasnt sowing anymore and marina had it at 1125. We met at 11 i think and went to eat "pepper lunch". Pretty cool they give it to you on a hot plate and it sort of cooks itself. Original. However, we did not finish our lunch quickly enough so no balls of fury for us. In the end we just watched the shortest but one of the most original movies ever, Mr. Woodcock. It's pretty cool and i wont spoil it for you. It was an... empty cinema except for an indian family with restless children. Then on the way back, i was on the 2nd level of a double-decker bus and there was this couple sitting on the other side of the back seat from me who were like making out and all that. It's still nothing compared to what Farhan saw though...

So i went home, played my guitar hapilly for a while and suddenly, BOOM! my temperature skyrocketed. I checked with Sophie if it had anything to do with pepper lunch but she was fine. So the next hypothesis was that my sore-throat had become a throat infection. Then I started sniffing and sneezing like nobody's business. SO i got a really bad runny nose and a throat infection. Didnt go to school today. Fever is more or less gone though. A few relapses but it was fine. Stayed at home the whole day today. Never even stepped out. The most i got was sticking my head out of the window.

That was about one of the only interesting things that happened these past few days i suppose. Unless you count cathecism but that was'nt very eventfull. Well Sarah (the P1 kid im teaching) is having her exams this thursday. Im quite worried for her though. Never thought I'd be but I am. Then again she's only P1 there isnt much to be worried about.

Have you ever had the feeling when you just wanted to hug someone or do something really nice for somebody but you didnt know how or didnt dare? So we just kept our mouths quiet and somehow the message gets across? Sometimes even the most quiet people can read out to you an essay of what he or she is feeling just by an action or by saying a few simple words. Maybe thats the reason why some people can be so quiet at times. It's a bit like a telepathic ability we all have. Unspoken words of joy that we speak not by tongue but by action. We can be so happy but wont know how to show.

~markyc

The Aftermath of the End is Another Beginning...

I got my results back today. Not very good though some subjects, 2 actually, i was quite proud of myself. 1, chinese. I broke my streak. Instead of getting 20+ like I did for the rest of this year, I got 42. Which is a significant improvement. Whats more, i got 24 for my oral which is better than most. So im proud of that too. Another subject I really liked was E maths where I got 80.2 marks. The highest in class was like 97-ish...

What I could'nt understand was why I did so badly for A maths and Physics. These are the only 2 papers I actually studied for yet, I only got 60 for Physics and my chinese beat my A maths... Physics was... well it was a disaster there was like one whole page or so where i got all wrong, and yet i didnt manage to finish the paper. A maths was... well its just full of crap. I got like one mark here, one mark there and it was all because of carelessness. Thomas (tutor) said that its ok that it happened. Wakes me up to study even more. So now , all I have to do is study 3 hrs a day next year, and pay loads of attention in class.

Other subjects include stuff like Bio (56), Chemistry (62), Combined Humanities (48). Comb Hum was another crap one but i dont have many regrets. SS had a wierd strict marker. 67-ish for EL. This has to be my worst compo ever. 22. Besides that, I think its time I got my act together and started working especially on A maths and Comb Hum. Physics will come naturally, I just tripped.

Sarah, the p1 kid im tutoring, is having her exams next week. Have to go there tomorow at 330 to 5. Quite a lot to put on a P1 kid but I suppose shes not very good in maths and comprehension. Her composition is on standard with others considering she's only 7. She's getting better in Maths though. Her EL is ok she just need to know how to infer.

For the past few days we've been playing soccer in the black hole. Abel, Dan, and.. Jin Jun or whatever is "Chuck" and the rest, including me, are the Acorns! Apparently, Abel says im a really good goalie but its hard to be goalie cos there isnt much space to run and the goal is huge anyway. I like playing on the field. Can dive. Michael, my brother, and Joshua are gonna try out for SSS cricket team so I have to train them some time soon if they wanna get anywhere.

Right now, quite a number of my friends are going through significant times in their lives. People like John and Lisa. Maybe Holly's also going thorugh i dont know but she was quite emo today. Sophies doing fine I hope. A lot of things happening this end of the year. Alot of beginnings and endings, here and there. Then again, I suppose that we should'nt be too scared of the ending of anything in our lives because after an end, is a beginning of another thing. It may be good or bad but we can never really tell can we? Perhaps like an earthquake, after an earthquake, there is a chance for people to renew their lives. Or maybe when our hopes are crushed when we break up with somebody, perhaps someone else you might have better chemistry with will be there with you and who knows?

~markyc

Wordless Radio

Well the exams are finally over. A maths was a killer, Physics was really hard and im not exceptionally good in Chemistry either though I thought it was ok. Bio was easy but ill most probably only get like 60 or so out of it. Besides that the reat were OK. There's no school tomorow and i intially wanted to go out but nevermind. SO instead, Ill be going out on Sunday. That will be after the results and all that. I really pity all those people who mugged so much but did badly. Its like eating crabs. Work so hard and get very little.

I went for some forest adventure thing on Saturday in bedok resevoir. Quite impressive actually. 2hr long course and its worth it. Yoou should go. Its a bit inward though so you have to look out for it. Dad lent me his old camera too so ill most probably be using it some time soon. Which reminds me...

Dad is starting his cycling trip round Malaysia to Celebrate the good stuff up there. You can keep up with him in his Blog "Celebrate Malaysia" which is already a link. I wonder how many people actually went there so far... But guys please do support him. Just go to the blog and read up. Im sure it wont kill to spare a wee bit of your time.

Sometimes the emotions we feel can be very unexplainable. Its like a song without lyrics. You know how the song goes but the lyrics cant be fit in. Like a classical song. Sometimes we feel like screaming out loud what we feel but we dont know how to say it. Maybe the loudest people are really actually shy on the inside but they want to hide it so they try to be something theyre not. Thats how i feel i think. Like a wordless radio. Willing to be so loud when i can only be so soft. Well im hoping the lyrics for "Arrows" will be finished soon.

~Markyc~

Take 2, Genesis

Today is the day just before the exams. Tommorow is chemistry and geography so i definately am not looking forward to it. However, If the exams are to ever end, it would have to start first right? Its like starting a relationship with someone. We work so hard at it but in the end, half of them fail. Quite Ironic isnt it. What we want to last long doesnt but what we feel wont last takes a lifetime to end. I suppose everything has their beginings and endings. Maybe in the future things will last longer.

Ok yesterday was a wierd day. In the evening, Mum, Nick and I went to China Square (I think thats what its called) and we watched one of the best rugby games ever. England vs Australia. We met up with uncle Vib and met a few of his friends. At Bisous there was a Bollywood gang function crap thing that hindered us from getting our beloved rugby game on the big screen. Furthermore, there were soccer junkies and all that gay crap watching football. Man U vs Wigan. Man U won 4-0 by the way fortunately. We're further up now. ANYWAY, so while tearing through bangers and mash, the big shadow himself (uncle Vib) took a stroll to look for other places and came across kazbar.

So we sat, I had a chandy and we were talking. And then we were talking about how the people there were all connected. See there was this other guy, who apparently played rugby with uncle vib before in england. Then they lost contact for a really long time until they met in a bar in SINGAPORE. What a coincidence apparently the other guy was ordering a drink and uncle Vib immediately recognized him. But the oher guy wasnt sure because.... well uncle Vib got REALLY big since their teens. The other guy recognized the voice but it was "coming out of this huge thing"...

So England beat Austrailia but New Zealand was beaten. I dont know wether to rejoice or weep. I really loved New Zealand but i really wanted Austrailia to be out too. But now since both New Zealand and Wales are out, I suppose I just have to go with the St. George's Cross. Englands playing France next. And Fiji and S.A. er... now. So the end of the trip for NZ but... We'll be back mates.... we'll be back...

I wonder what people think about relationships. Many say that its love etc. blahblahblah but end up breaking up in like 5 months. For some special people they are really Sincere to stay true and continue on the journey they began. At this age i think, Its hard to tell between love and infatuation. Are we REALLY in love? Of course we MAY be but will we ever know? Perhaps we will only know when the time comes. For me... that time Might have come I don't know yet for sure.

~markyc~

Deep Breath Before the Plunge

Exams are coming up in like 3 days and here i am "de-stressing". Apparently, St Pats starts exams a week later than other schools. Sophie's exam is almost done, Temasek Sec and Chai Chee are also having exams cos the bus passes them everyday and i dont see them much. Then again I suppose that just gives us more time to prepare for the exam.

Been studying more than I ever have in my whole life recently. Just did a physics MCQ part after doing an Emaths paper AFTER school. Ok fine i took a long break in the middle trying. Ok heres the course of the meal...

on friday we have appetizers : Chinese Paper baked with compre and compo.
for second appetizer its.....: Chemistry Soup with a dash of molar quantities.
Then comes the main course...: Medium rare Emaths paper 1 steak with AMaths-agetti with a genoerous helping of fried geographical features. Comes free with a serving of Social Studies with leafy bio greens.
At last, Dessert ............: Physics flavoured Ice-Cream with Emaths Paper 2 sprinkles.

Kinda hard to digest huh? But thats life i suppose. Full of plunges and deep breaths. Now that the exams are so close, teachers are laying off on the teaching bit. Letting us "revise" So things in school have relaxed a bit. Its not like every thursday is killer day anymore. Next week it will be though. Amaths and Bio on the same day. That really sux. There are plenty of Plunges I think im going to take this month. Or at least this holiday. Im gonna have my first live performance, Im gonna go to china and speak chinese all day to chinese people, Im gonna go for a confirmation camp for 3 days which has very unpredictable consequences and the list goes on....

Well i suppose if life doesnt have its plunges into water, we will never know whats down there right? We will never know what really lies on the seabed of our spirits. So heres to a "deep breath" *toast!* Its like running a race. If we dont run, we might never know wether we will get 1st. Or like writing a song. U'll never know if its good until u play it to others. Or maybe ur first love even. You'll never be with her if u dont do anything about it.

So put on ur diving gear and lets get plunging!

~markyc~