All the little things.

Quite a fair bit happened the past 2 weeks or so. I remember most vividly the last weekend which might have been one of the more eventful weekends in my life. Basically it was a cool give off from all the O level stress and I had a great time along with other people. Lots of reflection to do so ill just do it slowly.

On saturday, we had our flag day CIP to do for school. Mitch, Gable and I marched our way to tampines bus interchange to collect donations aimed to aid the Disabled People's Association. The Organisation caters to the needs of the physicaly disabled such as the blind or the wheelchair-bound. After about 30 mins of kind-soul searching, we went into tampines mall to get some stuff from the guitar shop as Mitch needed it. Upon our return, the density of people had increased. With hoarse voices and innocent-faced pleas for donations, we fended off most competition from other schools and even against other hopeful patricians. The words of "hi would you like to donate?" rang like a tape recorder repeated to the commuters and pedestrians. Many declined, others have already donated and some gave their contribution to help those not as lucky as they were. There were extremes. One lady strongly declined, shaking her hand and walking briskly away, saying NO and chasing us away as if we were aedes mosquitoes. There were enough generous hearts however, to give us enough money in our little tin can proportionate to 7 hours of CIP work. Well done.

Apparently steph was there too but not in the interchange. She wanted to join us on our way back to church but we had to return back to school to return our heavy tin cans. We later met her at church for cathecism. The lesson was fun and interesting considering we had nothing left to learn and played pictionary =P. there were 2 teams. The team with Steph, Joan, Cass, Joel, Gable, Veronica, Gericho, Cat, Issabella, Samantha etc. and the other group, the rest. We were evil people, giving them terms like "enzyme", Bowman's capsule, czechoslovakia, and all that stuff. They gave us stuff like "Joan and Jerome" and "handbag".So it was no surprise who got it in the end.

After Class and after mass, Catherine, Joel, Gable and I took a train to bugis to catch a movie. We watched Definitely Maybe, a romatic comedy which was more romantic than comedy in my opinion. It was nice. Makes you think sometimes and the story was well thought out. Nothing very cliche. However, it did feel very long and somewhat daunting at times. In the end we all had a great time and I nearly lost my jacket. During the whole outing we... had bubble tea, watched a movie, talked about random stuff, had random expressions, stood outside DC comics to hope gable would'nt find us and argued over which movie to watch. Everyone was saying "anything la"! For an initial plan to get the WHOLE gang down, it was still ok it was just the 4 of us. It was just nice a number, none too big none too small. could talk to each other more freely i suppose. Went home thinking about the movie, Ipod set to the playlist that plays some of the emotional songs.

the next day, the family and I went to watch.... We will rock you!!! In case you havent heard, its a musical based on queen songs and all that. In the future, all forms of rock will be bannedand technology takes over. The soul of music is gone and the fate of rock music lies in the hand of an unexpecting youth who hears voices in his head. It was really really fun, seeing how they incorporate the famous queen lyrics and other phrases from the era of music into dialogue and comedy. I really enjoyed myself singing along to "we will rock you", "somebody to love", "bohemian rhapsody" etc. All i can say is that it blew me away. The music was spot on, the acting was really good, it was very well written and is actually quite convincing! So if ou have the chance you should catch it.

It's ok if you don't feel like you are anybody relevant in this world. Many people feel that way and many people might buy into it. That what they do does not affect anybody. Even the smallest of habits may cause a whole corridor of doors to be opened. When someone loves somebody, it's usually because of the little things the other person does. How the other person talks, cares, carries out his or her life, her personality. No need to save the world to make others love you because someone out there is already loving you the way you are. All the little things that we do affect many people. You could be a role model to somebody only because you told that person something lifechanging. Something simple like "youre really something" can be life changing in many many ways. you could be saying it to your future best man, your future lover, your future head of state even. It's not the big things that mean alot to anyone. My treasured gift this year was not anything big but a piece of paper. Sothe little things matter and its the little things you do that make you the person you are. Not the big things.

The difference between truth and aspiration.

I havent blogged in AGES! I had a few incomplete posts but they were just there rotting away not doing anything. Just in case you didnt know, my high fever went down and I didnt have dengue fever. I had a birthday bbq 2 weekends ago on the 15th. It pretty much rocked. Sure some people didnt gel with each other but the thing was that we all had fun right? We were on a diet of too many burnt chickens being flamed by 7cm tall tongues of fire in a gas bbq pit. Watched simpsons after that and that was pretty much it. Joan was chasing Jerome around (=D), Holly and Ryan were throwing water at each other, Joel and Cassandra stayed quite quiet... as usual... and steph vs everyone. Even Isaac =P.

The next day, I went on a yacht ride for Holly's dad's b'day. It was a really nice yacht ride except for the fact that Michael and Megan got seasick and My mum had to bring them back. Nick was there though and it was cool. We stopped for lunch somewhere near pulau tekong's banks. Before lunch, everyone in the boat had the chance to jump off the boat and into the water for a dip. I went about 6 times I think. Of course the boat wasn't moving so we had loads of time to swim. That day, I took in enough salt to preserve a seabass.

Nothing much happened the rest of that week. It was a boring school week though i was quite happy to be able to play soccer last tuesday during PE! I just hope tomorrow would be the same =P. Went for maundy thursday, good friday and easter sunday mass all 3 celebrated by THE fr. Augustine. Im not saying its a good thing but lets just say, It was a bit too much for mum to handle. =P.

Sometimes we ask ourselves wether we are really being honest with ourselves and what we feel about others, about things. What we want to be can be something we become in the future but do we ever stop to see what we are now? Is the person we are now someone we really want to be or do we want to be someone we are not for the moment. It is alright to want to be something but do it because you want to. Not because others say so or because it is cool to be that kind of person. What we feel about others can be uncontrolable. What we want to feel, we may never get to feel in a long time but shouldn't we think about what we feel now and be happy about it? make the most out of it? It is not what we are given or who we are but what we make out of it. You could be the richest guy in the world but what is the use if you use it only for yourself? You could be the best friend anyone could have and you don't know but what is the use if you don't make the effort to find a special companion?

~markyc

Crossroads

These few weeks have been somewhat eventful. Getting a 39.5 degree fever and having the scare of the chance to get dengue was quite the event I considered. I wont say I was close to death but it sure felt like it! I remember lying in my bed the first night. I was thinking what my funeral would be like. I was thinking that i would be in a nice black coffin and my friends would be there. I was just wondering who would be there. I was also thinking about how some people will find out when I pass. I mean some people dont have many mutual friends with some of my friends its just them. So i was just wodering how THEY would know... dont get it wrong im not thinking of ending it just yet i was just wondering. =P

So I took this small little red tablet. Tiny no bigger than a mini m&m. It is THE most powerful fever medicine. Once I took it it was a matter of minutes (and a nap) before my fever came down. It was like seeing a brick fall from the 39th storey. It could never get up again. The rest of the week I was recovering pretty well though now I have this splitting sore throat that everytime I swallow, it feels like my whole throat is being split open. Been surviving on a diet of porridge and soy sauce, chicken bits, yoghurt and all that stuff. I wont say it sucks im just perpetually hungry with nothing to eat. Just today I was tempted with fried chicken and minced beef!

I had a relapse yesterday. I had missed the first day of Adam Khoo thing so I went for the second. It was interesting. They taught us how to study smart not hard. How to increase energy levels, how to change urself, how to read fast, how to do mindmaps all that stuff. All that feel good motivate urself kind of stuff as well. All that "reach for the stars""be yourself""ur the most important person in your life" kind of thing. It was fun seeing the reactions of other people to how they discovered this part of themselves. However the time came and I was starting to feel unwell again. So today I postponed saturdays bbq to next saturday which may or may not be a good thing. Maybe more people will come and maybe they wont.

Some of us will reach a point in our lives where we have to make a choice between two not so good options. Its like at the fork in the road where one side, you see this road with bare trees and lightning and stuff, on the other side is a road of snow with dangerous blizzards and the like. Choosing between two very similarly seemingly bad options. But what if one of those roads leads to the correct destination you really need? What if one of those roads are there for you to brave its dangers to get to the end and celebrate? I think we all need somebody to help us get through whatever we are going to get through. We need somebody to walk the path with us I think. To be there when we fail or when we succeed. Someone who will be there for you no matter what. It may be hard to find that person in the first place but like many things, we have to keep our eyes open along our road. Know how to make the right choice that will lead you to your goal and even if it doesnt, hope that we find someone on the way to guide us and accompany us.

~markyc

Lifeline

The exams are halfway through. Tomorrow i have Geography and Chinese exams, Tuesday i have Physics and on wednesday it is biology and Amaths. I still dont know if I want to drop bio just like that. I took the re-exam and i failed miserably =P as the chinese proverb goes "luo hua liu shui" which practically means to loose really REALLY badly. In fact, it was so bad, I was last in class for that test! But the flaw is my answering technique for Bio. In Bio, one has to be VERY specific and one has to remember many names and what those names represent. Both of which im not very good at. It's not that I don't study but i lack all the "keywords" and am very bad in remembering all these strange names like thrombokinase or Meiosis 2. I can remember the different processes and what happens im just not sure on what actually does what and how to put it. I dont really like bio anyway. It felt very restricting compared to say physics or chemistry where we can find out things instead of having it thrown at us. But I dunno. I'm gonna talk to my bio teacher tomorrow see what she says. I've got the green light from mum and thomas already anyway. =P

Today, to celebrate my bro's birthday (which is on tuesday, 26th, btw) we played soccer at the field. I could have scored loads but i always SOMEHOW missed by a little bit. Post, Wide, saved. I managed to get one in though. We were playing with Nick, Holly's dad, My sis, My bro, my Mum, Cohen, Dan, Sam and the lot. It was fun but not my best. My toenail cliped and now i have a small portion of my nail about to break off really soon. "BAH! a flesh wound!" as AC(phlegm)HMED(phlegm) would say!
A few days before on my birthday, we had a small bbq with some of the best meat you can have in a super long time! I got a shirt which said "I AM THE STIG" from mum which was really cool. And to "Top the gear", Nick gave a Jeremy Clarkson DVD on the best and worst cars in the world. =P should be fun! Holly and family gave a german contraption thing. Its really really cool but I dunno how to explain it. I didnt care much for presents but having already recieved a few sweets from a great friend of mine the other day, I didnt expect her to give something else.

Since it was hers a few days back, i decided to get her some marshmallows. Wrapped it up nicely and painted a little small card. I felt quite bad when she gave a great CD (melee)! Thanks to her anyway. The music is great! She's really nice actually =) All my other good friends gave me something perhaps no one (cept my family) could give, which was to be there for me and basically just being with me. I really love all of them! =D

I believe that we should keep moving in life. We all have a wonderful life to live and we shouldnt stagnate but instead go out and live that life to the fullest. I dont mean go through it like it is but enjoy it to the max in whatever way you can. Make it worth living for, change the world. Do you remember the last time we told ourselves we would do something great and different? Maybe it's been a long time since so go do something for yourself or for others! All these obstacles in life are there to help us but don't stay there and daunt at the task to accomplish! Go tackle the thing and move on! We are like lifelines. We all have to move on no matter what happens to us or we will never be who we really can be. We will be a flat line. The sign of a fish out of water AKA a dead fish! We have to stand up and be strong, not to dwell on all these things. Sure it is good to feel sad for things but don't feel sad for too long. God is there for you so move on. Get your pulse back to normal or if ur adventurous, faster!

This was edited to protect anonyminity.

~markyc

The last chorus.

Well today, the 19th of february 2008 will be the last day as a 15 year old for me. Tommorow onwards i will be a 16 year old roaming the world and studying for his O levels. This post will be dedicated at the past year and all the great things that happened. Since I already talked abt the great ppl i met in a post sometime last year i wont talk about it. I'll just summarise the whole year in 3 paragraphs or something.

The last year was a great one with many ups and downs. Like part of a song. Verse one: March holidays. Peer Support Convention happened and it was where I met some really great people. I learnt alot of useful lessons there as well. Now I'm only in contact with Sophie which is sad i suppose cos we don't talk to the rest now. I remember alot from the early part of the year. Getting involved in this and that, making good friends in school and outside. It was so great when it first started. So fresh as it came.

1st Chorus : June holidays. Went to Bali. I remember the songs i wrote in that period of time from April to June. It was all pretty novice writing though sometimes I do think about the songs and what it meant to me back then. I remember one particular song. The first one i wrote. It was called sweet. Met Nick's parents as well as they went with us to Bali. Everything was going well and in full flow. I was actually happy with what was really going on I suppose.

2nd Verse : around september, the pace for the exams started to pick up. Before i knew it, I had to work extra hard than what i usually do for the end-of-years. Things were still moving pretty much like clockwork. You could say that my eyes opened this period. Realised many important things going on. High time too. I wrote a few lines here and there in this period. None of them actually happened.

the last chorus : October through January. Times so turbulent, I could puke. Well its hard to say. You could tell in my past posts. Can you remember the time I wrote the last post of the year? Late december train ride. Yea that was a rough spot towards the end. Not sure why just felt very emotional that the year had come to a close and all that. There were let downs perhaps too many to count but to balance I had lots of high points as well. Meeting many new great people to be exact. That and the great Con3 camp. It was hard to stay focused when you've been through so much in so little time.

NOW : The last day as a 15 year old and here I am posting on blogger at 11pm. Today was an interesting day. Mum and many others wished me a happy advanced birthday, I studied, I ate lots of chocolates and sweets, I drank wine, I tried to complete a song, I read, I cried on the inside but then realised that i shouldnt and decided to move on with life the way I always had. To keep dreaming and believing in those dreams. On top of that, I also went to school and all that other normal stuff one would usually do in their teenage life.

The final notes of the song are played and for those last few seconds, you think back and say to yourself "damn that was a great song". The next thought is "I hope the next song is even better".

~cheers, markyc

Constellation Figurine

This is a song I wrote a while ago in January. It came when I was in my room one day and I found a great chord progression and started singing. There's quite alot of impossibilities in it and yet it happens, stressing how much the protagonist really feels. The first verse represents the eye openers of the protagonist's behaviour, how he always dreams and finding ways out of the bright side, like an action of paranoia. Then he realises why he has always been waiting on the world to come.

The protagonist promises someone special to him that he will be there for her as long as it takes for her to join the dots in the milky way and create the picture, the constellation figurine. The protagonist wants to come clean with her and see her in the light so that he can be free. He tells her that the the clouds burn in her eyes, showing how deeply he feels as clouds dont burn but they do in HER eyes.

The second verse shows how he counts his blessings of her even though her stars are outshone by others. He can still find her stars which hang high and probably cannot be seen. He thinks about her everytime and that the thought is mild and harmless, like moonlight. She is timeless to him.

CONSTELLATION FIGURINE.

verse 1
sleeping on the sea
dreaming on the clouds,
I'm staring at the sun.
I've found a reason why
On these tears I fly
Waiting on the world to come.

pre-C
It feels like I have known you for so many years.
Join the dots in the milky way,
I'll be here beside you
through smiles and fears.

Chorus
I want to see you in the light, so I am free
You are a constellation figurine
The clouds are burining in you eyes, and I want to scream
I hope I see you tonight.

Verse 2
The Sunlight illuminates the sky
Yet here I am, numbering your stars
hanging so high
Your moonlight lies upon my life
It lies with me everytime,
Its all alright

Bridge
Timeless it seems
Clocks stop ignoring me
Youre Timeless it seems
Will the stars stop ignoring you and me

Expectations.

Chinese new year just happened. This year was Dad's year and instead of going up to Malaysia, our relatives came down. On the eve, we met up with Granny and all at Roland's Restaurant. You know that one with the signboard near Parkway? On top of the carpark? Granny's doing quite well. She seems much happier than before. A bit funny actually cos she kept smiling and prefered to stay quiet. She's quite old already. On the first day, nothing much actually really happened. Just had lunch here and dinner there. Oh we went to A.Mei's parents' place. Everyone from my step-family was there. On the second day James and Joanna came down with A.Rosemary and U.Yap. It was quite nice being able to see my cousins again and to know that I'm taller than Joanna now =P. They stayed over and James and I played starcraft until I retired at 2 am. The next morning, we said our goodbyes when Mum came to bring us back home.

Everyone was at home. Everyone but my mother's brothers. Mainly the older generation here to gamble as a custom to every chinese new year. My mum's cousins also came and hang out. I won a dollar playing tai tee as well! It was a real comeback match as i was loosing quite a bit until i had a really good deck and won hands down. It was 4 when i got ready to meet up Catherine and Gable in church. At that exact moment, all the cabs nearby were hailed down because when i got out, there were no free cabs at all. Had to wait a whole 15 minutes before one came. Luckily I wasnt too late for mass. We then met up with our host, Joel and went to his house for an evening of fun and fellowship. Steph, Joan, Jerome and the usual gang were there. We played Blackjack in which I lost miserably. This was after chicken rice and wine dinner btw. Everyone thought that I was drunk cos I kept laughing at random. But really, I wasnt. I was completely sane. Its just how I am all the time when i get too happy. =P
I got home at around 10.45. Mum went for 27 dresses with Holly, Megan and Elsie so they weren't home yet. So passed sunday and now I am here.

It's quite funny how things don't turn out as people expect it to be. It's happened many times before, the unexpected. Man Utd losing to West Ham, Getting the 2 of Spades but not winning in Tai Tee, The different assumptions we make each day turning out to be wrong, how the answers on the maths assesment book can be wrong, all sorts of things. The past few days really surprised me more than a couple of times and half the time, it was good stuff. When people say, expect the unexpected, what if the unexpected was what you would want? What if it so happens to be what you need to carry on? Maybe we are so used to failing that it no longer becomes the "unexpected". Ironic huh? I think I have had many unexpected events that somehow, are good. So I learnt to go by that phrase of expecting the unexpected with the knowledge that the unexpected could be something good.

Cheers,
Markyc

Time the Foe.

It's been a seriously long time since I've written anything. Well theres loads of stuff to talk about. Holly had her birthday last week on saturday, The O level results were released, I went to Harry's with Dad, Had cathecism, Mass then dinner, Picked up Mikey from school, Went for a wedding, ZhongSan etc. Its loads. I'll just talk about some of them.

Holly's birthday was quite nice. A barbeque at east coast park sitting on rocks looking into the ocean. It was a small thing (3 of Holly's friends, Trisha, Eugene and I). Trisha, Eugene and I made our way there after cathecism by cab. When we reached everyone ad already pretty much had their fill so we had ours and sat at the rocks. Its amazing how geography can be applied here because the rocks should have been barriers (or whatcha call it) to prevent the beach from eroding. But it had connected to the beach already. I'm not sure if it really is deposition of sediments or intentional human interference. ANYWAY, Nichollete left before we came so only 2 of holy's friends were there, one of which was Danial's sister. We sat there and talked. I almost died and gave Trisha a heart attack, slipping on a slippery rock. =P We walked home and that was it to the day.

O level results were released. Our school standards dropped. The mean MSG now is 19 points. Thats crazy. Then again it used to be 17 or something which isnt that good either. Imagine the whole of SPS getting that and going to Poly or something. Its not something to be proud of. So I'm trying to discipline myself to get at LEAST 8 points. Anything more than 12 and Im off to Poly or CJC. Best scorer in school was 8 by the way. Other things that happened in school include LOM games day, house meeting, Chem, Bio and Physics practicals and all the other boring school stuff. A maths retest results are back tommorow along with our circular measure test results and standard deviation test results.

This weekend was funny. Cat class was funny. We played "honey if you love me"! I was coincidentaly paired up to say the line to Catherine. Even better. Joel was also "coincidentally paired up" with... well you know who =D. Then we had an organised debate where I was representing the side who will defend the faith from the "others" who will ask questions. Trust me. When your up against teenagers like Jerome and Steph, it takes a heck lot of faith and guts to be able to answer and rebutt their questions, leading to a tight draw. Then went for mass and dinner with Cat and went home.

At ZhongSan the next day, I met up with my non-biologically-related sisters Yunting and Yunying who greeted me with "Heloooooo"s! We put up the CNY decorations before starting the meeting proper. We nominated the different office positions. HuiWen was VP, YunTing was secretary, BiWen was Treasurer and Kenneth was "committee member" AKA extra guy who votes and has a say. Then we had Macdonalds lunch. Apparently, the candidates for world domination let you sample their food (and give you money for it!) Its a bit like you are the food critic kind of thing. I would like to do that! Free food (though its crap), you get paid, and you get to say its crap as well! After ZhongSan we went to Kit koufoo's wedding. Say apple there and she is one TALL 10 year old! Seriously! Not just tall, tall and lean with a long-ish face! Its quite touching to see my uncle get re-married. Its cool.

Nowadays it seems that everything is moving really fast. I dont mean the buses no those are slower than ever. I meant time. It was only 4 years ago, we were young impressionable 13 year olds ready to take over the world and looking foward to our "sweet 16". Now that it's finally here, it seems almost surreal that we are 16 years old yet it feels so normal. It's going to be so hard, fighting time. Running faster and faster to catch up with him and the world. The seconds become increasingly precious and it seems like we have no time to rest. There are so many things I want to do yet the minutes flow away like water from an open tap. There is just so little time to be with who we love, to be with who we want to be with. I really want to treasure that time with them.

~markyc

Puzzle Pieces

A maths test is finished! Over and done with! I am almost 100% sure to pass unless 100 things screw up at the same time. Then i will fail and be "strongly advised" to drop Amaths as a subject. I won't do so anyway. Today was also supposed to be the last day of the recording but we were unable to finish the "community song" today so we did a rain check to friday. However, friday is a no-no for me. That also means that I have to miss all the video shoots! Argh... Mum wont let me do the video shoots. More like I know she won't let me. She isn't very supportive of it.

I managed to recuit Isaac as a drummer for LateDecember. Now all thats left would be to find a lead guitarist and bassist. Prerequisites -
-Interested in alternative music (Coldplay, Veronicas, Snow Patrol, Boys Like Girls, KT tunstall).
-Good friend of mine and won't mind my craziness and random enthusiasm.
-Reasonably good lead guitarist and/or bassist. Musically talented.
Yea and if you happen to fit all 3, then good for you! Odds are that we won't be doing anything much until the big "O's" are over. Then we will up the ante.

School has been quite interesting and boring at the same time. My new English teacher is really good and respectable. She is wise and knows how to motivate her students, passing on essential skills, knowledge, and lessons in life that she posseses. I really respect her and it is a pity that i have recently failed to meet the deadline for the last assignment (whoops). My new Physics teacher can be a bit boring at times but he knows how to motivate us young ones by telling us that we can be "better" than he is if we scored an A1 in physics. Apparently, he scored an A2. My new Emaths teacher was also my Sec2 maths teacher. She can be boring but she can also be easy to get along with.

There was one thing I learnt this year. Well actually I knew it since a really long time ago but I just want to say it. Love is a descision to stick by someone no matter what happens. So the phrase "till death do us part". It is like it hurts so much to be with the person but you still do because you need each other. Kind of like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Whatever you feel empty with, he or she will complete for you. No matter how different you are, both of you still stick together. NO matter how much you try to, you cannot take the yin from the yang. The heat without the cold, or the light without the dark. Love is a descision to be the that other piece to the person. The different Puzzle Pieces that all come together will make a masterpiece. Alone, It is just a strangely shaped cardboard piece.

Back to the World

Well after so many years of waiting, we are finally here as seconday 4 students. 16 year-old to-be's ready to take the world by store and find someone to watch those NC16 movies we have all been banned from watching when we were little 15 year olds. Of course our worst enemy also dwells in the depths of a cave hidden away in this paradise. We all know it as 'O' levels.

Yes even after that journey of a holiday, the examinations are now back to haunt us and take away the joy of being 16. Of finally being a young adult. I remember those last few moments of 2007 and the first few of 2008. I remember calling up a few of my friends wishing them a happy new year. Of course only 2 replied to my missed calls. Sophie and YunTing. The later calling me up in my sleep =P. I remember the jumps for joy and fits of laughter, ushering in the new year in conversation and sparklers.

The first bold move this year was to form a band. "late december". Founded by Holly and I and spawned from the ecstasy of new years day. Isaac would become our drummer once we have the time and we are still looking for a good guitarist and bassist that enjoys alternative rock. Im on the rythym and Holly's on the keyboard. Both of us do vocals for different songs.

The second bold move I made this year was to let go of something that i held on throughout the holidays. I wont tell you what it is but it would do more good than harm by letting go of it. Lets just say that very few people were benefiting from it so I thought it was the lesser of 2 evils to let go of it. It was a hard thing to do but in the end i fought the beast. It feels good now that I no longer feel it.

Third bold move. I got myself involved in a national education song singing video thing. Basically, MOE are putting up some NE website and they want a music video thing. So we have to sing all sorts of national day songs remixed and all that. Its col except for the fact that its national day songs. Theres this guy who will sort of do differnt versions of the songs. Stand up for singapore became this jazzy kind of mix and it actually sounds pretty cool. Looking at the song sheet, haunting nightmares would return of horrible national day songs unable to escape your brainwashed head and hours of propaganda social studies and television would play over and over again.

Now with the new year under-way, I just wished that each day was a little longer. Even during the holidays, I had tests of my own. Not academically but more emotional and spiritual tests. I was on a real roller coaster ride last month. I still enjoyed the holidays. It gave me a sense of relief that i was still... alive in a sense. Now that school is back, I feel like a brick has been suddenly dropped on me. Suddenly everything is going slow again and I am pressured to study to get into a good JC. So many times, we fly but land abruptly. Maybe thats the world that we have now. A world driven by results when what we really need is to do what we really truly love. To me, it would be film or music but there is so little opportunities to express in those areas nowadays. Til that day comes, its back to the world for us.

Cheers, Markyc