The difference between truth and aspiration.

I havent blogged in AGES! I had a few incomplete posts but they were just there rotting away not doing anything. Just in case you didnt know, my high fever went down and I didnt have dengue fever. I had a birthday bbq 2 weekends ago on the 15th. It pretty much rocked. Sure some people didnt gel with each other but the thing was that we all had fun right? We were on a diet of too many burnt chickens being flamed by 7cm tall tongues of fire in a gas bbq pit. Watched simpsons after that and that was pretty much it. Joan was chasing Jerome around (=D), Holly and Ryan were throwing water at each other, Joel and Cassandra stayed quite quiet... as usual... and steph vs everyone. Even Isaac =P.

The next day, I went on a yacht ride for Holly's dad's b'day. It was a really nice yacht ride except for the fact that Michael and Megan got seasick and My mum had to bring them back. Nick was there though and it was cool. We stopped for lunch somewhere near pulau tekong's banks. Before lunch, everyone in the boat had the chance to jump off the boat and into the water for a dip. I went about 6 times I think. Of course the boat wasn't moving so we had loads of time to swim. That day, I took in enough salt to preserve a seabass.

Nothing much happened the rest of that week. It was a boring school week though i was quite happy to be able to play soccer last tuesday during PE! I just hope tomorrow would be the same =P. Went for maundy thursday, good friday and easter sunday mass all 3 celebrated by THE fr. Augustine. Im not saying its a good thing but lets just say, It was a bit too much for mum to handle. =P.

Sometimes we ask ourselves wether we are really being honest with ourselves and what we feel about others, about things. What we want to be can be something we become in the future but do we ever stop to see what we are now? Is the person we are now someone we really want to be or do we want to be someone we are not for the moment. It is alright to want to be something but do it because you want to. Not because others say so or because it is cool to be that kind of person. What we feel about others can be uncontrolable. What we want to feel, we may never get to feel in a long time but shouldn't we think about what we feel now and be happy about it? make the most out of it? It is not what we are given or who we are but what we make out of it. You could be the richest guy in the world but what is the use if you use it only for yourself? You could be the best friend anyone could have and you don't know but what is the use if you don't make the effort to find a special companion?

~markyc

Crossroads

These few weeks have been somewhat eventful. Getting a 39.5 degree fever and having the scare of the chance to get dengue was quite the event I considered. I wont say I was close to death but it sure felt like it! I remember lying in my bed the first night. I was thinking what my funeral would be like. I was thinking that i would be in a nice black coffin and my friends would be there. I was just wondering who would be there. I was also thinking about how some people will find out when I pass. I mean some people dont have many mutual friends with some of my friends its just them. So i was just wodering how THEY would know... dont get it wrong im not thinking of ending it just yet i was just wondering. =P

So I took this small little red tablet. Tiny no bigger than a mini m&m. It is THE most powerful fever medicine. Once I took it it was a matter of minutes (and a nap) before my fever came down. It was like seeing a brick fall from the 39th storey. It could never get up again. The rest of the week I was recovering pretty well though now I have this splitting sore throat that everytime I swallow, it feels like my whole throat is being split open. Been surviving on a diet of porridge and soy sauce, chicken bits, yoghurt and all that stuff. I wont say it sucks im just perpetually hungry with nothing to eat. Just today I was tempted with fried chicken and minced beef!

I had a relapse yesterday. I had missed the first day of Adam Khoo thing so I went for the second. It was interesting. They taught us how to study smart not hard. How to increase energy levels, how to change urself, how to read fast, how to do mindmaps all that stuff. All that feel good motivate urself kind of stuff as well. All that "reach for the stars""be yourself""ur the most important person in your life" kind of thing. It was fun seeing the reactions of other people to how they discovered this part of themselves. However the time came and I was starting to feel unwell again. So today I postponed saturdays bbq to next saturday which may or may not be a good thing. Maybe more people will come and maybe they wont.

Some of us will reach a point in our lives where we have to make a choice between two not so good options. Its like at the fork in the road where one side, you see this road with bare trees and lightning and stuff, on the other side is a road of snow with dangerous blizzards and the like. Choosing between two very similarly seemingly bad options. But what if one of those roads leads to the correct destination you really need? What if one of those roads are there for you to brave its dangers to get to the end and celebrate? I think we all need somebody to help us get through whatever we are going to get through. We need somebody to walk the path with us I think. To be there when we fail or when we succeed. Someone who will be there for you no matter what. It may be hard to find that person in the first place but like many things, we have to keep our eyes open along our road. Know how to make the right choice that will lead you to your goal and even if it doesnt, hope that we find someone on the way to guide us and accompany us.

~markyc