Flashback

Today is the 30th of November. 2007. Something has happened in my family just recently that I will not share here. Then again, i will be grateful for it because in the long run, it will bring happiness if all goes well. The week has been pretty boring except for this piece of news that i recieved just at dinner. Monday was spent at the park, Tuesday was spent thinking about monday, Wednesday was spent dreaming, Thursday was spent tuitioning, and today was spent pretty much on everything. 8.30 in the evening and there are 2 things on my mind. My family and a few special friends of mine.

I'm starting to think more about others since Con3 camp. I set myself a goal in life. To make others feel happy. Feel peace and love. That was why i wanted to become a film director. Since many people watch films to pass the time, hang out, I shall make films for people. Hopefully providing some sense of insight, happiness and love for my viewers. If that does'nt work, I would try my luck in the music business with whatever band i may have. I pain when i think about the pains others are going through. During sharings in the camp, I did keep a few trivial problems to myself because I realise that my problems are nothing compared to what my friends had.

A quick look back on my life. I had my first crush when I was 11 years old. A young age for a boy. I cant remember her face now. Let alone what she is doing for the time being. It was a leadership camp. The first I have ever attended. I remember claiming best camper award for that camp. It did feel good. Then, I fell out of the crush. It was a year before i felt again. PSLE was on it's way and i had just rejoined the faith. She was in cathecism class and was also the most beautiful girl i have ever met IMO. She's changed though. Not the same anymore. I remember NOT studying for PSLE, having my first fight, having my best friends go against me, had little faith, geeky and basically no life when i was 12.

Sec 1 came alot of new things. New school, new responsibilities, new girl in my life, new friends, new house, new cricketing skills. New everything. I cut my initially long hair short and has been since then. I was still crap in chinese and we were all very naive back then. We could take over the world in our dreams. That is if my dreams werent filled with a girl i had a huge crush on for the rest of the year. I met her in Con1 camp. Honestly, I dont really want to talk about it.

Sec 2. What a year. besides getting straight As for doing close to minimum (homework), I also adopted a new attitude. I was going to break out of my borders. I soon became a guy no one would have recognised. No longer shy, no longer geeky, no more late nights fantasising about things that would never happen. I made my best friends in this year. John, Lisa, and a few others to mention. I drew back and kicked hard at life. Turns out it worked. Also increased my spiritual life here. LOM was soaring for me and alot of other things were going well. Though i admit, i DID have another crush here.

Sec 3. This year. I have mixed feelings about this year. Firstly, studies were a bummer. Besides increasing study pace by 100x which really isnt much, i still only managed to scrape through triple science and double maths. Whats the point of studying this stuff anyway? I'm not gonna be a computer guy or a biologist at any rate. I wished i took literature. It felt so much better doing that. Then again, this year was a great year in the social and spiritual circles of my life. My best friends, half of them i realised were girls. I was a peer leader, and I became a cathecist in church. A lot happened so far this year. Too much to account for. Maybe one day i wiil write a whole post on this year. All in all, I feel good now if a bit emotionally tired.


There are so many things I have to be thankful for. A wonderful family, A wonderful group of friends who i can rely on, fantastic days in my life, love, peace. As i look back on the shore, I see how many footsteps have been made. Each pair side by side. The number of people that have joined me in this magnificent journey. I can only hope that when i look to my side, they will all be there. Wearing smiles on their faces. Each with their own journey to make. And I know not all will be here when the time comes for their journey to take them somewhere else. So all i can do, is to treasure them now. Treasure the footsteps left behind before the tide washes it all away.

For all whom have influenced me, thank you. You make the difference that means so much to me. Thank you. Grazie.

Markyc